I had a dream...

People come in and out of your life all the time. With time constraints and schedule issues, work, family, boyfriends etc, it's hard to keep up with your friends. Sometimes you let them slide, too far and end up losing them forever.

I had a dream about a friend of mine that I recently lost. Me and him were close, closer than I was with a lot of people, it's almost like we'd known each other all my life. We could talk endlessly about politics, religion and have some of the greatest jokes I've ever had.

When he found out he was leaving the country, he called me, again and again, leaving me messages after messages and I never responded, being too 'busy' to return calls. I had no idea this could've been one of the last times I saw him.

So he left.

And later I realized, he was trying to hook up with me before he left. This overwhelming feeling of guilt and loss overcame me. I wrote him an email where he chewed me up and spit me out, no appeasing my feeling at all, but throwing salt on the wound. Not being able to be fake, which is one of the traits I've always loved about him.

Since then I received the occasional email from him and kept up with his progress abroad with his blog. But it's not the same.

A couple of weeks ago I had a dream about him...Not too clear but I woke missing him completely and entirely. Then last night I had another. This one clear and concise.

I dreamt that me and my new husband (I'm recently engaged but in my dream I was already married) traveled to India, for pleasure. I wanted to go there wanting to see my friend but my husband didn't know that. In my dream my friend (we'll call him TEX) was in India, living and experiencing life.

So throughout my trip I had my eyes peeled as we traveled New Delhi's shopping centers and village shops. Finally in a bike shop (?) in Delhi I saw him with another guy and a girl, I ran over to him and gave him a huge hug, I held him so tight, like I've never hugged him before. Then during our hug, I came in close to his ear and whispered (so my new husband wouldn't hear as he was by the cash register) and I said "Don't ever let me go..." He abruptly pulled away from me and said in a serious, non emotional voice "it's too late." and with that, he turned from me, looked at his friends and asked them if they were ready to go.

For the rest of the trip I tried to track him down and get him to see me but he avoided me at all cost. I just had this hurt feeling in my gut throughout and couldn't get rid of it.

When I woke this morning, I wanted to tell him of the dream and that I missed him, I missed talking to him, hanging out with him, spitting jokes with him, but then reality set it and I realized, it's already, too late.